blog

Cycle of Abuse

Fri, 27 May 2011 15:30:18 +0100

Two characteristics- Walker Cycle of Violence Theory
1. They are able to predict the next episode of severe battering will be.

Cycle tension->build tension->battering->battering ease down->contrician (forgiving and loving). And it continues.

2. Why don’t these women leave?
>feel completely trapped and unable to leave
>paralyzed with fear

Most of these women eventually develop a severe state of depression, which slows down her ability to escape the battering (Elizabeth Stanko, 88). Stanko also explains, "the lack of self - confidence often act as a trap which prevents women from leaving a violent home" (57). Many women are threatened with their family; they avoid leaving for the safety of their children. This fear could prevent any functional individual from escaping a violent hand. What we need to realize is that it is just a threat and once we leave we have taken away the power from his hands. Please be attentive to the cycle and be aware of a violent relationship whether it is yours or not. Mr. Small would get angry, start arguing with his partner and when he could not listen to her side he would hit her. After a bit of crying, he would try to massage the swollen body parts and apologize. Sometimes he would cook her dinner and say, “you know I lose my cool but I can’t live without you.” There is nothing more pretentious than “I can’t live without you” Ladies please do not fall for it; it is just an act until he gets angry again. Be aware and stay safe.

Happiness and Safety

Fri, 27 May 2011 15:24:19 +0100

"Statistics have proven that women are beaten an average 35 times before they make a formal report; the anxiety of these women accurately reflects actual conditions. When a woman sees herself as being physically endangered her quality of life suffers dramatically" (Reginald and Posterski: 148- 149, Unknown year).

Therefore, females believe that they cannot be happy if they are not safe? When we are happy life seems to be of no hassle. However, if you are constantly being abuse emotionally, sexually and physically life seems so much more complicated. Why? If we are in fear majority of the time, while anxiously praying that another episode of violence does not occur, what time do we have to do all the things we enjoy? Ladies do you understand you are an individual not his property. You are a person and according to the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedom you have the freedom of your own thought, belief, opinion and expression (Schedule B Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedom 2[b]). You do not have to spend time worrying about getting hurt by him anymore. Do all the things in life you want to do; do not listen to what he has to say anymore. Just remember you are your own person with your own expression and do not let any man limit your expression. Our lives does not have to suffer from today, we can be happy; only you have the power to be strong and happiness will evolve once you are safe.

Stay Safe.

Gender Differences and Violence.

Fri, 27 May 2011 15:24:26 +0100

Emphasized Femininity is based on women's subordination to men's interests and desires. Women are expected to be passive and obliging to men. This is the most culturally valued role for a woman in social relations (Ravelli and Webber: 202, 1963).

Why after centuries of subordination to men are women still complying with these societal values? In 2010, men and women are assumed to be equal but the reality is the glass - ceiling still exists. If society continues to nourish these ideological roles of men and women violence will always linger. What we need to do is to limit the gender expectation at birth. Buy any colour for your babies not just the traditional blue for boys and pink for girls. We nurture the next generation and if we can change the gender expectations from birth we can guarantee women will be treated differently.

Female Violence in our Society.

Fri, 27 May 2011 15:24:58 +0100

This question came from a survey I conducted on May 30, 2005 at St. David Catholic Secondary School in the Waterloo Region. The Students aged from 14 - 19.

Q: Do you feel that violence against women is an issue in today's society?
R: 7% of students strongly disagreed, while 36% moderately agreed and 22% strongly agreed. The remainder of results were unsure.

Can you see how the percentile is scattered all over the board? Violence against women is definitely part of our society and these students were not quite sure. Can you imagine being an unsure young woman who enters a violent relationship? Well you might just think this is the way things are supposed to be because you are unaware. According to Louise Gerdes, "females can be in denial about their abusive relationship; they suspect that all couples have fights and the abuse is normal" (Gerdes: 66, 1998).
Well take it from me when a guy makes a fist and punches you several times on your arms, back and stomach, it is NOT normal. When you take off your clothes two days later and the Black and Blue marks are vividly staring you in the face that is NOT normal. There is a way to be happy again, we all have the power in us to make our own lives better.